December Solstice & Cancer Full Moon

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“Let us liberate ourselves from any form of control. Let us focus at the inner drum, where the rhythm aligns with that of our heart… Just listen, the inner child, let it whisper in your ear.” 
― Grigoris Deoudis

 

As we move towards a new year, the Solstice and Cancer/Capricorn Full Moon bring change to the inner foundations and outer structures of our lives. 

Cancer is the inner, private world, and Capricorn the outer, public world.

With the Full Moon at 0 Cancer less than a day after the Solstice, this is an opportunity to plant new seeds of what we need inside us, and what we want to achieve outside us. 

With the Sun and Saturn in Capricorn, in direct opposition to the soft, sensitive Cancer Moon, we’ll feel the tension between our needs and our responsibilities, our self-care and our worldly ambitions.

The more we can fill our own cup, the stronger we will be.

The Sun is ruled by, and also conjunct, Saturn, who is currently at home in wise Capricorn, bringing a profound sense of duty and tenacity to the Solstice and the Full Moon.

The pressure to achieve something important, the obligation to conform to social roles and conditioning, or the necessity of learning our hardest lessons are challenges that lie ahead. 

The reward is the ability to prune back our burdens, to carry only what is ours to hold, and to aim our sights on the most worthy of all mountains - the one that bears our true name, rather than struggle uphill on someone else’s path.

Opposite the Sun and Saturn is the Moon in soft, sensitive Cancer.

The Great Mother and Great Father are opposed, pitting nurture and duty against each other, and we’re being asked to not just choose one, but somehow merge the two.

Saturn is the ruler of time, the reminder that we have a finite amount of hours in this lifetime, and we’re here to manifest something tangible with them.

Cancer is the cyclical goddess, the Moon’s home sign, and here we experience the mysteries of conception, gestation and birth.

Cancer and the Moon remind us that there’s a phase for everything, and we must trust, listen to, and follow our own rhythms, and the rhythms of nature.

We’re not robots, despite what the creators of the Capricornian industrial revolution would say. 

We’re living, breathing, needing, feeding, human creatures, who operate at our best when our inner children are warm, safe and well fed.

 

With a strong an emphasis on Saturn/Capricorn structure right now, it’s wise to ponder deeply on what you want to bring into reality next year.

Capricorn helps to crystallise our ambitions and bring our visions down to earth, where they can be real, useful and tangible to others.

This is the time to plan your next twelve months, to take stock of all you’ve achieved, and to rearrange the boundaries of your life to create more space to breathe, more time to meet your own needs, as well as strategising the climb ahead.

With Jupiter conjunct Mercury in Sagittarius, it’s time to think big and think broad. We can glimpse the bigger picture right now, and open our minds to possibilities yet to be explored. 

Jupiter is at home in Sagittarius, bringing faith and optimism in abundance for the next twelve months. It’s the year of the visionary explorer, and it’s time to shoot a new arrow into the far horizon, and expand the size of our dreams. 

Saturn is at home in Capricorn, bringing the discipline and pragmatism to manifest those dreams and put them to real work.

He brings gravitas, discipline and responsibility to the part of your life he’s travelling through, while Jupiter brings buoyancy and new adventures; together they make a powerful complementary pair.

Neptune is also at home in Pisces, enhancing our spiritual sensitivities and ability to lose ourselves in dreamworlds.

Jupiter’s moving into square with Neptune, and this Full Moon will bring to a peak the dream-seeds which were planted two weeks ago at the Sagittarius New Moon.

The last new moon was an expansion of faith, a total surrender, and in some ways, a capsizing of the boat we’ve been navigating with.

We’re in new waters now, and that can feel rudderless, strange and confusion as we learn to go with the flow.

But we’re being carried by a current far greater than us, on a path that may confound us, but is surely leading closer to home.

The Venus retrograde, which has just finished its shadow period, was a total reorientation of our values and relationships.

A deep, dark detour that changed the course of our lives, her work is now done and we’re moving into 2019 with transformed relationships to love, money, pleasure and creativity.

 

The house that this Full Moon falls in will be the focus of this emotional Full Moon for you, while the house the Sun falls in where this Solstice can help you crystallise your ambitions.

For me it’s the 4th house of home and family, Cancer’s natural house, and the 10th house of career and destiny, Capricorn’s natural house.

Whichever houses the Sun and Moon fall in for you are your Cancer/Capricorn axis - the Mother and Father of your inner zodiac.

It’s where the soft, sensitive inner child meets the wise old man, and where our loony Cancerian irrationalities have to grow up and contribute something practical to the wider world. 

Cancer has needs. Capricorn has ambitions. 

Finding a middle ground can be tricky, especially in our Capricorn-weighted society, where so much emphasis is placed on one’s career, one’s station in life, one’s external world success and other patriarchal values. 

I’ve felt split between Cancer/Capricorn my whole life.

With the South Node (soul’s past experiences) in Capricorn and the 10th, and the North Node (soul’s path of greatest growth) in Cancer and the 4th, my soul is an old hand at taking responsibility, having a public role, and being an authority in some way.

I shoulder responsibility like Atlas. What I’ve had to learn is how to be deeply rooted, strongly connected to home and family, and tend to the needs of my vulnerable inner child.

I’ve never felt the Cancer/Capricorn schism more painfully than after I had my daughter, and I’d been drifting in the cyclical maternal rhythms of breastfeeding and co-sleeping for nearly a year. 

After spending most of my life feeling pretty cut-off from my feminine instincts, pregnancy, birthing and baby-raising cracked me open, softened my edges, and showed me the power of woman. I was enraptured with feeling so connected, of being in the natural flow as mother with child.

I felt the Cancerian goddess within me, awake and thriving in the daily domestic duties like rocking, wiping and feeding.

Until Saturn came knocking and woke my worldly ambitions woke from their slumber.

My family was in dire financial straits, and my partner had no solution, so it was up to me to find a way out. 

I felt this intense, compulsive and urgent calling, like life was tapping me on the shoulder saying, “It’s TIME!” (Saturn, of course, rules space/time). 

It was time to tenaciously manifest this business vision I’d been dreaming of for years

And deep down, almost too deep to admit it, I had a painful unconscious desire to be “more than just a mother.” 

Because being a mother isn’t challenging, rewarding or meaningful enough to Capricorn. 

I needed to do “more.” Achieve “more.” Earn “more.”

Always more, more more.

The hungry ghost that eats the soul is never satisfied.

I’d been trying to prove myself since I was a little kid. To be more than just the poor hippie girl in the forest, desperately ashamed at how mad my family was, how unconventional my parents were, and how my life looked nothing like anyone else’s safe, normal existence.

Desperate to seek out safety, I yearned for traditional career paths - Capricornian structures that promised financial rewards, social standing and the sense of respectability that’s sorely lacking from a disorganised and chaotic off-the-grid upbringing.

And so, when I was baby-raising in the jungle decades later, living back off-the-grid again, and my family’s survival was solely in my capable hands, I got to work building my first business when my daughter was one year old. 

In between breastfeeding as a mama, I returned to my South Node superpowers, and built a business as papa.

I worked fifteen hour days for more months than I care to remember. I lived and breathed business, marketing, sales and financials. 

I became more and more consumed by the external world of Capricorn, and more and more distant from the internal nurturing of Cancerian motherhood.

Because I was pushing from so much pain, I was motivated AF to make it work. And because it was my family’s main source of income, I had no choice but to keep at it until it did. I wanted to quit so many times, but I never could.

Capricorn came through with the ambition, motivation and pragmatism I needed to keep going, no matter what. But I was always running on empty. Pushing, hustling, struggling. Achieving, yes, but at the cost of my health, my happiness, and my family.

My clients were in awe at what I’d achieved, but I told them honestly to do the opposite of everything I was doing. Especially if they had young babies. Don’t go down the same road, I said. It’s really fucking tough. Just be a mum, if you can.

Yet I got caught up in the glorification of the hustle and grind myself. I didn’t know any other way. The experts and authorities preach relentless momentum and superhuman activity as the path to the business holy grail.

And don’t get me wrong, sometimes we need to suck it up and just get shit done. 

But there’s being productive, and there’s burning out, and they’re way more heavily enmeshed than Instagram would have you know. Especially when, as I was, those ambitions are fuelled from the desire to avoid pain, which just creates more of the same.

And keeps that hungry ghost alive, keeps it whispering about the need to keep breaking through to the “next level,” rather than fully being where we are.

More, more, more again.

Never satisfied, always hungry.

Never fully appreciating, always looking for the next thing. 

Then I’ll be happy. Not now, then.

Only when this. If this.

Conditions, conditions, conditions.

Fear + control = Capricorn’s shadow.

This shadow Capriconian approach to starting a business from scratch, marred by constant stress, social isolation, financial and material worry and overwhelming, all-consuming responsibility is something that can make or break you. 

Probably both.

It sure has for me. I’ve felt so broken that I’ve been able to see the deepest layers of survival programming keeping the whole sorry house of cards erect, and been forced to disable them one by one.

I look back now and am grateful for what I’ve achieved, but I regret the cost that I’ve paid.

I regret the missed days, weeks and years of time with my daughter that she and I will never get back.

I regret becoming so cut off once more from my inner world, my own needs, and the needs of those around me because I was in a constant state of survival.

And I regret listening to the experts, the propaganda, and the lies about what it takes to “succeed.”

Because the more I strayed from my own instincts, the harder life got, the smaller the rewards, and the bigger the struggle ahead of me.

The Capricorn voices can be loud and scary - do this, don’t do that, this is a proven seven-step-system, if you don’t follow the authorities and experts, there will be disaster!

They drown out the soft Cancerian nudge in your gut, the feeling that something isn’t quite right… 

The fear of not getting it right becomes stronger and the connection to instinctive intuition becomes weaker… And then life gets really fucked up.

When you’re frantic, and desperate, you’ll do anything to get where you think you need to be. 

And anything to avoid being where you are.

I signed at $20k contract with a high-profile business coach, who told me to use false scarcity, invent high-ticket programs in my lunch break, and hustle like a mofo to sell that shit.

None of it made sense to me, and I felt slimy following her lead. And when I cancelled that contract, my expert coach turned out to be as vacuous and manipulative as the sales and marketing tactics she taught me.

Authorities like Gary Vee, who can be the five second hit of inspiration you need to just keep going one more day, are the same people who’ll suck you into eight hours of high-pressure sales at a live event, in order to squeeze as much cash as possible out of you.

The hungry ghost walks among us.

Soul-suckers.

Energy vampires bleeding the minds, hearts and wallets of those hungry, and desperate, enough to put them on a pedestal and call them the authority, rather than listen to their own inner authority and trust the instinct that says to get the fuck out here, now.

Lessons learned.

Wisdom gained.

Maturity, and inner authority, developed.

A few years of heavy Saturn transits have taught me lesson after lesson about commitment, responsibility, manifestation, materialisation. I’ve been straddling two dimensions, trying to build a business with soul and trying to land my soul in the world.

This year alone I’ve created, launched and delivered a successful astrology program, including writing a 100,000 word course manual; designed and printed whole calendar from scratch; created and printed a deck of astrology cards; plus a bunch of other projects and commitments.

All tangible achievements that a few years ago were just pipe dreams. All creations that I’m proud of, for sure. And I’ve felt more connected to my inner needs than any other year in business before.

But next year, I just want to feel good. That’s my top priority.

To take such good care of myself that I overflow into the people, and world around me. To cut back my projects, courses and commitments, and go deep in a whole new way.

I’m done measuring myself, and my life, against tangible achievements. I have very few ambitions left, to be honest. Most of them centre around feeling more at home in my life, in my body, with my family.

Spending less time working, and more time being. 

The inner hunger is gone. The burnout patterns are no more. Wearing my stress and busyness as a badge of honour is the old way, not the new.

So this Solstice, I’m making a deal with life:

I’ll keep on doing this thing in the world, but in an entirely new way: sourced from deeply nourished roots, strong bonds to those I love, and a profound inner commitment to my inner needs, instincts and the cyclic rhythms of life.

Only then will I show up. From that place, no other.

 

Cancer is the instinctive, internally-connected soul we need if we’re going to build a life, and a world, that has deep roots, that is nourished from within, and is emotionally secure enough to make a real contribution to others.

The structures of our society are stern, rigid and unyielding, rather than soft, pliable and nurturing.

We live in a Capricorn world, where it seems people get rewarded for trampling over others on their way to the top. And where, until very recently, “business as usual” meant becoming cold and heartless in order to make a buck.

As Pluto in Capricorn unearths the deepest, darkest demons of corruption, greed and control in governments, banking and commerce, it’s becoming plain for all to see that so many authorities and systems are built on very shaky ground.

Because they’ve been neglecting their Cancerian roots. Their inner kids are starving, and so they resort to desperate attempts to control the outside world, rather than looking within at what they need, and how they really feel.

What Pluto is also doing is bringing back Capricorn’s soul, helping to transform the way we’ve used this paternal archetype in the past.

From cruel, calculating control to wise, responsible stewardship, conscious capitalism, the new wave of socially-responsible and ethical businesses, is the result of this structural transformation.

How can we achieve, and stay connected? How can we build, and still feel? How can we be productive in ways that nurture ourselves, and each other?

How can we grow stronger roots as a human family, rather than pitting ourselves against each other as competitors for scarce resources?

Capricorn rules so much of how business is done. 

It’s the structures we build to advance ourselves, the responsibility we feel to make something of ourselves, the authorities we defer to, or hold onto, and ultimately, it’s the ambition, tenacity and discipline that gets us to the top.

But Capricorn can be so focused on the end goal, and the outer game, that it can walk the earth like an empty shell. So cut off from his needs and vulnerabilities, he rejects all emotion and shuts down inside.

Seeking status and material gain to prove himself. 

Becoming rigid and cold in order to get ahead. 

Following the rules of society because he can’t bear to look like a fool.

Capricorn can have the most cunning strategies on how to advance and achieve, but absolutely no idea who he really is.

Until he looks within.

And feels all the uncomfortable, inconvenient, mysterious and downright painful stuff he’s been too afraid to drop into.

And Cancer can be so caught up in the ebb and flow of her emotional tides, her subjective reactions and triggers, and her all-consuming needs and irrationalities, that she forgets to look outside.

At the wider world around her, at her role in the community, and the structure she exists within.

Her sensitivity and intuition are her superpowers, but she needs to learn how to be practical, just as Capricorn needs to find his soul.

With the North Node in Cancer right now, we’re all experiencing the pull towards a more rhythmic, less robotic, way of life.

To be more connected to the inner world, while still being productive in the outer, is the new holy grail of business,

To flow, rather than fight, our way through.

Take some time on the Solstice, and during the next day’s Full Moon, to reflect on what you’ve achieved this year, what you’re ready to release, and how you want to feel in 2019.

What commitment are you making?

What needs are you honouring?

What visions are you crystallising?

What are you ready to receive?



One way to move from burnout to nourishment is to live in alignment with nature, and follow the cycles of the Sun and Moon.

The Aligned Calendar is your daily tool for connected living.

Get your copy now, because it starts on the Solstice (Winter or Summer, depending on which hemisphere you’re in).

You’ll find prompts for reflection, release and creation at this Solstice, for the year ahead, and for every season of 2019. You’ll also get a space for New Moon intentions, and each calendar month starts with the New Moon and follows the whole moon cycle, rather than following the robotic Gregorian months.

It’s available right now as a digital edition, which you can use on your computer or mobile device, and as a DIY printable version, if you want a hard copy for your desk or wall. Click here to download your copy now!

 

Eloise Meskanen2 Comments